Challenge #15: Learn All the European Capitals

They say that knowledge is power. I definitely agree and also knowing stuff makes you seem clever.

My geography has always been pretty mediocre. That mediocrity is what prompted this challenge. I figured that if I am going to live in Europe then I should at least know the countries that comprise it and their capitals. And it might also help with Challenge #22: Participate in a Pub Quiz.

I set about learning the countries first. Suddenly I was overwhelmed by how many there actually are. I used an online testing site called Sheppard Software. I found this to be an excellent way to learn. Whenever I was on my laptop and waiting for something to load, I would flick over to the site and try to remember what I'd memorised. I also downloaded different quizzes onto my phone so I could test myself at any time. Long bus journeys became an ideal time for testing.

To prove this challenge is completed, I've made a video. So, at the time I made it, I could remember all the capitals. However, I have noticed that some capitals (particularly countries I haven't visited or know little about) tend to need refreshing every now and again.

Of course, now that I know all these capitals, I now find myself with a desire to visit every single one...

Challenge #29: Organise a Themed Pub Crawl

I felt a great sense of relief when I looked up 'Pub Crawl' on Urban Dictionary and found this definition:

An activity where at least 5 people are involved in drinking at a series of pubs, usually at least 4.

So, it's official. If Urban Dictionary agrees, then what I organised was, indeed, a pub crawl.

Yes, I even had wristbands.

This challenge was pondered for quite some time and eventually I decided to cleverly combine it with my current fundraising efforts for my Great Gorilla Run on the 22nd of September (The Gorilla Organisation). I figured that if I wanted to raise money for charity AND complete another challenge then I would ask people to donate money to come on the pub crawl. Genius right?

Trying to guilt pubs and clubs into giving me deals, to sweeten guests' participation in this event, was no easy task. I was politely turned down at every turn. Some didn't even bother to reply (why won't they PLEASE think of the gorillas?!). Only one place offered me any kind of support, B@1 in Clapham Common.

Bag, necklaces and dress for £7 

I thought about my theme and settled on 'recycled' (Op Shop bought or borrowed). I didn't want to have a bunch of oddly dressed characters, as I reasoned that this could put off pub and club owners. And I know that sinking feeling that everyone gets when they realise they have to find a costume for a party. Another hassle and expense. 

And so the day arrived. I had my ridiculous bridesmaid style op shop dress, my fabulous friend fresh from Manchester and the promise of raising money for my gorillas. (Well, not MY gorillas...)

Spot the error

Surprise tables!

At this point, the aforementioned definition of a pub crawl must be referenced. In total, I had 6 amazing friends participate in my pub crawl. Not the most mind blowing turn up of all time, by any stretch of anyone's Mr Fantastic imagination. 

That fact did not stop us having an incredible night. We were very well looked after at B@1, and unexpectedly had table set aside for us in Exhibit. Many cocktails were consumed, a bit of money was raised for gorillas and everyone had a smile on their face. 

And so, another challenge can be ticked off the list. The second hand dress will be hung up  and most likely forgotten, the donations will be passed on to my dear gorillas (well, not into their bank accounts or anything like that...), and I will steadfastly abide to my new resolution to just stick with participating in pub crawls. 

Although, it was pretty cool to have my name written on signs in pubs... Just saying.

Challenge #26: Go Speed Dating

Ever been on the date from hell? Well, with speed dating, you can potentially go on lots of them! But don't worry, they only last for 3 and 1/2 minutes.

Although, considering it only takes one tenth of a second to make an impression I guess that's long enough!

The dating world is changing, apparently, and some clever sod has found a way for busy people to cram lots of dates into one evening. In case you didn't know, speed dating involves a rotation system. You have 3 and a half minutes to 'wow' each person and convince them to tick 'yes' by your name. At the end of those precious minutes, the host tries to pry overly keen men from their seats and onto the next lady. In true modern fashion, the women get to stay seated, look pretty and wait for men to show up.

In other words, speed dating is a bit like going to an ice-cream shop, asking to try all the flavours and then walking away without buying anything... Well, sort of.

I approached my speed dating night with a mixture of fascination, nerves and apathy. I was intrigued - what kinds of people go to speed dating nights? Would it be all 40 year old weirdos who are clearly single for a reason? I prepared myself for some absolute shockers, but I reasoned that they would make for a more interesting blog.

Dragging one of my friends along (bless her), I sat and sipped my cider, waiting for my first 'date'. I was pleasantly surprised by a very handsome Swedish man, who seemed confused that I didn't play 'racket' sports of any kind. Oops, guess he wasn't ticking my 'yes box'.

Soon the men became a bit of a blur and I was thankful for my 'date sheet' where I could write down comments about the guys. Mostly I wrote down jobs (because, despite what an advice page suggested, I stuck mostly with the boring 'what do you do' type questions) but I did have a few interesting comments by the next morning:
- Bullshit Artist (this guy told me he worked for Sky and then elaborated by telling me he read the news. After stringing me on for another 30 seconds he told me it was crap. Seriously? You've lied to me in the first 2 minutes? You're getting a big NO buddy!)
- S&M (in response to 'what do you like to do in your free time?'. I laughed this off and then talked about '50 Shades of Grey'. I think he was disappointed when I said I thought it was a load of crap.)
- Queue Jumper (with a few drinks under his belt, this guy pushed in front and got everyone out of order)
- Number 5 - Nothing. (This guy was my last date and had had too much to drink by that point and so he was in the toilet. Probably not a bad thing, really...)

Of course, it wasn't all bad. I had some really interesting conversations and some laughs. I met a neuroscientist from Portugal, a structural engineer from Malaysia and... some other guys.

So, I'm sure you're wondering who got my tick of approval. After very little deliberation, there were two guys who tick-led (haha pun) my fancy, so I guess I have to wait and see if the feeling is mutual.

In the meantime, I think I'll try out this idea where I can try all the ice-cream flavours for free... What's that quote about buying a cow?

****In case you're interested, the Speed Dating event that I went to was through Original Dating.

Challenge #17: Owl in front of something famous (and preferably high up!)

Owling is the new planking. Or, at least, it was about a year ago.

I was first introduced to 'Owling' by some Essex boys I met in Nice. They had some incredible pictures of them striking the pose in front of famous (and high up) locations. I was immediately intrigued and tried a few of my own.

To complete an accurate 'Owl' you need to bend at the knees into a crouch and stretch your arms towards the ground with your palms flat, mimicking wings. This appears to be easy but I find staying in this position is not fun for those of us with 'older' knees... Hello early onset arthritis!

My first two owls for the year were in Dubrovnik on the famous wall. Walking along, I saw a hollow in one of the towers and commented to my friends that it'd be an amazing place for an owl if I could get up there. Miracles then occurred, as we found that we could actually get into the hole from behind.

Getting into position

Owl achieved!

My second owl. It was a long way down...

The trick is not to look down.

Challenge #2: Host a dinner party with at least 3 courses

For hundreds of years, women have been searching for the answer to the following question: What makes the perfect wife?

Is it keeping a tidy home? Is it being a brilliant lover? Is it being a loving mother? Is it cooking delectable food everyday? Is it looking flawless and youthful at all times?

Ermm... I don't think so!

As a feminist, being 'the perfect wife' has never entered my consciousness. It is something that I have never desired, or aspired to. In fact, the idea of keeping a perfect house and home is something that is beyond my realm of understanding.

All that being said, I think I came pretty close to being the perfect wife for my Friday the 13th Dinner Party.

I pondered my menu for some time, tweaking until I came up with a perfectly gruesome meal:

Rancid Red Onion & Ghastly Goat's Cheese Tart

Wretched Risotto Cakes & Shrieking Salad

Chilling Cheesecake

No need to clean if you're having a Friday the 13th party!

I spent the day organising my table, spreading cobwebs around (some real ones due to a lack of dusting in the corners of the house...) and designing name cards.

Ghostly Name Tags

Oh, and cooking. Although my menu was relatively simple, it just took me hours to organise all the bits and pieces. Risotto cakes are delicious but involve actually making risotto, then waiting for it to cool, then rolling it into balls, stuffing mozzarella into the centre and then crumbing. Oh, and THEN you can cook them in a vat of oil. Did I mention that my menu was not worried about our waistlines?

Nose job, anyone?

Soon my lovely guests arrived in varying forms of fancy dress. I was a witch, having bought my accessories from my favourite costume shop for only a few quid. Unfortunately, my broom was left forgotten in a corner as I was busy cooking up a storm.

Being a hostess is exhausting. It really is a juggling act. Cooking, topping up wine, talking... To the untrained eye this does not seem difficult, but I assure you it is. And of course I also managed to burn my kettle cord (an unforeseen expense) and set something on fire... Just shows my dedication and skill level, don't you think?

The first stages of my Chilling Cheesecake

Fire hazards aside, the evening was declared a success by everyone (nothing to do with the ever-flowing wine, I'm sure) and they all left full and a little bit tipsy.

Put the diets on hold!

After completing this challenge I now have a better clue as to what would make a 'perfect wife'. Not a tidy home, not a deliciously cooked meal, not impeccable dress sense and hair. These things are all so superficial, so outdated and just maintain traditional gender roles.

No, the perfect wife has a different set of skills in my mind. Excellent conversation, the ability to have fun and, most of all, the desire to do something nice for those you love, that is what makes a 'perfect wife'.


And a brand new kettle.

Challenge #47: Make someone a mixed tape

Remember the good old days when it took hours to make someone a mixed tape?

It was a gesture that showed true love. A willingness to sit with a stack of CDs or tapes, choosing tracks and then painstakingly recording each one onto a tape. You don't do that unless you REALLY care.

Admittedly, in the times of iTunes, this challenge now seems blindingly, stupidly easy. Dragging tracks into a new playlist on iTunes and then clicking 'burn to disc' isn't that hard.

However, nostalgia for the past caused me to put this onto my challenge list, just for the simple reason that people just don't make mixed tapes anymore, even though it's so easy you could almost do it by accident.

I've always loved getting mixed tapes (then CDs) and their absence from my life is a constant source of disappointment. My cousin used to send me them from London when we were teenagers and I still love the tracks she carefully selected for me. Music is personal, so when someone shares their loves with you, you have to sit up and listen. Literally.

All year I have been trying to find a reason to make a mixed tape and finally an opportunity popped its little head out and said, "Oi! You can do something awesome right here!"

I was talking to my friend, Shelly, and we were having one of our amazing, insightful, solve-the-world's-problems-over-a-drink conversations, sparked by my recent reading of How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran. Feminism is revived in this book and is an issue that we are both passionate about. After a long discussion on the book and all things feminist, Shelly admitted to me that her 'secret passion' was rap music. She told me how she felt she couldn't listen to it anymore because of how sexist it is.

Suddenly a light bulb flashed above my head - Aussie hip hop!

I don't really care for rap as a general rule; however, I always feel cool listening to some Aussie hip hop. Their lyrics always seem to speak to me, with their catchy, quick quips and analysis of Australian (and world) issues. A particular favourite of mine* celebrated the 'death' of John Howard's political career, without actually mentioning names.

As an English teacher, I always love things that require context and knowledge to understand their true meaning. It also helps that rappers (or MCs) use all those incredible sound devices that the Wilfred Owens of the world mastered all those years ago... Assonance, sibilance, alliteration, onomatopoeia - they are used in spades.

My brain made a quick connection between my enjoyment of something 'rap'-like and Shelly's disappointment in her favourite rap artists: I could solve her problem with a mixed CD of Aussie hip hop.

My feminist side has never been rankled by an Aussie hip hop song. If anything, they usually celebrate diversity and discuss gender-neutral issues that affect us all like the environment or political knobs (see previous reference to John Howard).  In fact, one of Australia's most prolific hip hop groups, The Hilltop Hoods, has recently released a song that speaks out against racism and homophobia.

And so, I gathered all my hip hop loves together into one playlist for my feminist friend and entitled it 'Feminist Friendly Hip Hop'. After some decoration, it was ready to be presented to her.

The finished product! 

Inside I wrote her this note: Because a feminist should never have to go without anything (especially music) because of some sexism.

Maybe I should send it to Caitlin Moran. Or, at least, tweet her about it.


* If you're interested in the song it's called "The King is Dead" by The Herd

Challenge #3: Attend a Secret Cinema event - Part One: Pre-mission Training

As soon as I found out about Secret Cinema (so secret that now I can't remember where I actually heard of it) I knew I wanted to participate in this fusion of film, undercover operatives, clues, costumes and acting.

For those of you who don't know, Secret Cinema really is exactly what it sounds like. You buy a ticket to see a film, but you don't know what film it is or where it will be held. And that's where the fun begins. The creators send you clues and you become part of the film. You spend your time trying to work out what film it is and why you're being asked to do these seemingly bizarre things. It's the ultimate film experience, where you are slowly sucked into the world of the film.

The Build-Up

After buying my tickets, I waited impatiently for my first instructions. At first I thought that Secret Cinema genuinely had joined forces with another company called Brave New Ventures. After watching their vague video I started to get suspicious: was this just a way of keeping the group going through sponsorship or was it all part of the intrigue?

Soon I had my answer - we were all asked to choose a job from a list including ore analyst, contamination officer and data analyst. Then we had to change our job status on Facebook and our profile picture, so that other employees could recognise us. (This is part of the brilliance of Secret Cinema, their use of social media to promote their cause and generate enthusiasm. However, it does immediately exclude anyone who doesn't have Facebook.)

I chose my job, Contamination Officer - I figured if there was an 'outbreak' I'd prefer to be on the outside, stopping it from spreading - and I was ready for my first mission: Physical Conditioning.

The uniform that Contamination Officers are expected to wear
(Image from Brave New Ventures website)

It wasn't really a massive surprise when Physical Condititioning involved, well, physical conditioning. We assembled at Southbank, were given t-shirts and then participated in what must have looked like mass-hysteria. We did strange movements, similar to those in that song 'Let's Do the TimeWarp Again'. And then, we ran.

Waiting patiently for instructions

Being part of a large, homogenous crowd is quite a strange feeling. You do feel pulled along with the group, I can see how people start to focus on being a team member, rather than an individual. I assume this is perfect for whatever 'mission' our new employer (BNV) has in store for us.
We dashed around Southbank, with people staring and laughing as we chanted 'Brave New Ventures'. There was a hilarious moment when a woman asked us, 'What is Brave New Ventures?' and we all replied, simultanteously 'We don't know!'

Exhausted after our intensive training, and still none the wiser about the film!

After completing my first mission, I was keen for another taste. I recieved word that I needed to choose a mission and email by 6pm. I chose Psychological and Emotional Training because it's just right up my alley, I cited my experience with teenagers as making me perfect for the job as I am now 'an expert in psychological warfare'.
 

Receiving our mission briefing outside the Planetarium.
(Photograph from Secret Cinema Facebook page)

Soon I found myself hiking to the Planetarium next to the Royal Observatory in Greenwich. Again we were given shirts and had our pictures taken with our special item we couldn't live without for the mission. The training involved two sections. The first was a live teleconference between the doctor in charge at the deployment location (clearly in space somewhere) and the head psychologist at BNV. He was handsome, persuasive and, above all, creepy. Completely focused on completing the mission, he would do anything, even if that involved putting employees on drugs to keep them in check. The doctor seemed to dislike him and asked to come home early. Her request was laughed off and she didn't look happy! The acting was so convincing that I kept forgetting that it wasn't real.

Listening to the teleconference so that we understand the importance of Psychological Training.
(Photograph from Secret Cinema Facebook Page)

The second section was a lecture about how to use body language to manipulate employees. It seemed pretty well researched (although nothing I haven't taught my own students about body language and how we communicate). What I again noticed was this drive to complete the mission at all costs, including manipulating those around you.

Watching demonstrations of non-verbal communication carefully so that we can use the techniques on our subordinates!
(Photography from Secret Cinema Facebook Page)

So, before my 'deployment', my theory was that it's a space film, about a corporation exploring space so that the human race can settle there.

 Full debriefing will be completed in the next blog entry... So for now... Tell no one...